What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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