What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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