What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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