What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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