What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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