What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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