What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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