What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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