What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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