What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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