What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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