What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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