What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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