What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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