What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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