What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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