What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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