What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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