What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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