What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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