What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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