What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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