What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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