What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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