What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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