What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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