What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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