What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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