What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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