What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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