What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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