What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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