What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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