What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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