What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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