What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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