What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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