What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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