What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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