What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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