What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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