What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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