What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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