What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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