What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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