What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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