What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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