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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?
Let's get crackin!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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