What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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