What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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