What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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