What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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