What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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