What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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