What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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