What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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