What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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