What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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