What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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