What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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