What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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