What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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