What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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