What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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