What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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