What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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