What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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