What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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