What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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