What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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