What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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