What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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