What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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