What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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