What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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