What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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