What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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