What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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