What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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