What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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