What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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