What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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