What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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