What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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