What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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