What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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