What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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