What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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