What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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