What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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