What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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