What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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