What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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