What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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