What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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