What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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