What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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