What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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