What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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