What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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