What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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