What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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