Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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