Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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