What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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