What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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