What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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