What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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