What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
Canvas not available.

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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