What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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