What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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