What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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