What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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