What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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