What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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