What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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