What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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