What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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