What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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