What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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