What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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