What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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