What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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