What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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