What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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