What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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