What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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