One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
or
As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
or
Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
or
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
or
Lunch and dinner.
or