Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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