What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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