What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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