What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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