What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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