What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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