What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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