What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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