What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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