What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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