What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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