What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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