What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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