What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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