What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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