What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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