It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
or