What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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