What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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