What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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