What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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