What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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