What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
Canvas not available.

or


How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
Canvas not available.

or


Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
Canvas not available.

or


What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
Canvas not available.

or


How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
Canvas not available.

or


What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
Canvas not available.

or


How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
Canvas not available.

or


How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
Canvas not available.

or


What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

Canvas not available.

or


How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2025