What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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