What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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