What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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