What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.


GOOD		CRAP

or

You Poke her face.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Silent night!


GOOD		CRAP

or

A vampire only sucks blood at night.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.


GOOD		CRAP

or

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.


GOOD		CRAP

or

They both dribble.


GOOD		CRAP

or

He had no patients.


GOOD		CRAP

or