What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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