What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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