What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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