What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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