What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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