What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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