What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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