What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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