What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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