What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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