What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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