What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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