What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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