What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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