What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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